and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Randomize
