its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
