i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
