I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
