I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
