I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
