Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
