Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
