If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
