get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He did a backflip because drugs
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