I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Houston, we have a squirter
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
