Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
