Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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