what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
