Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
