she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it's not cheating when I paid for it
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
