Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
