my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
