It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
