Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
