how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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