The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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