just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
