I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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