ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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