so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
