She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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