Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
