All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
