There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
did i just pee glitter
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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