brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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