it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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