I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
