You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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