im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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