Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Randomize
