at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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