Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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