My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
