Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize