He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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