Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
