Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize