Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
