Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
