so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
