Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
