So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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