Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
where are my eyebrows?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
