She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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