jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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