Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
