I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
