oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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