I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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