I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
