We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
