Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
