I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
