i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
